Can anyone help me with this story?

Derek stood at the bar of Crypt Tonight watching the people on the floor dance to "Blame It" by Jamie Foxx featuring T-Pain; while drinking a Corona. As he stood there singing and rocking his head to the beat; a young lady got up from her table and started walking to the bar beside him asking the bartender for two dirty Cosmo's, two Bob Marley's, and a Long Island Iced Tea. She was five-seven, thick, weighing at one hundred forty pounds, attractive, dark-complexion with brown eyes wearing a Tan Lace Shirt with matching capris pants. Is this too much or no?